Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
