"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize