would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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