I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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