never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
