Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
