im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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