Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
