Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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