it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she pinky promised me she was 18
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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