You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
