I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
