Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
