Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
