I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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