I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
His hands were made for my vagina.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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