Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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