I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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