Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
