Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
