Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
