I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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