you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
