fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
