Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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