So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
