fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
