Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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