Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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