You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
