Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
