Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
