If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
