I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
