One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
