At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
