my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
