When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
