Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
