Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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