I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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