chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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