Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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