Its about making memories worth repressing
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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