just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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