I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
