Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
