i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
