i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
