is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
