You really coming over, don't trick.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Text me some of your sweat
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
