Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
